Sometimes my children run into a lesson that is really hard. Sometimes I require them to work at something they do not want to do. In those moments, I’ve heard, “When am I ever going to use this?” or maybe “What purpose does this serve?” Probably all of us have been asked some version of this question.
There are several options to consider when responding. We could argue and try to convince our children that the lesson they are struggling with has value, though they don’t understand. We could shrug and say, “I don’t know, but I had to suffer through it, so you do too.” We could reach for the all-too-comfortable cloak of autocracy and reply firmly, “Because I said so.”
The Importance of Trust
None of those answers seem to satisfy. Instead, I find that reminding my kids of a promise I made years ago restores their willingness to keep going. I will not give them work to do that isn’t worthy of their time and effort. I respect my time and their time too much to waste it. If I am requiring their attention and work, they can rest assured that the assignment is worthy. We’ve been homeschooling from the beginning, and they know I won’t give them busywork.
Occasionally, I remind them of another important fact: I do not choose their course of study because it is useful. I choose it because it is good. The eighteen years we have to raise and educate our children cannot be lowered to the level of mere job training. I can’t possibly know exactly what plans God has for each of their lives; how then can I determine which studies are truly more “useful” to them than others? I can, however, discern which things are worthy and good and life-giving. Those are the things we pursue, trusting that God will use all of it as He is shaping them.
Patient Perseverance
My oldest children are now in high school. They have seen me stand by my promise not to waste their time. They also know the pleasure of studying something delightful or challenging which may not immediately appear useful. My kids trust me, and that trust goes a long way in calming the occasional frustration. I love watching them mature into people who don’t shy away from difficult tasks, interested in learning even when they aren’t enthralled by the topic. To me, these qualities are far more beneficial than a strictly “useful” course of study could be. And what’s more, knowing my kids bend their wills to learn encourages me to persevere in finding the best I can offer them each year.
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