10 Jun Parenting: Letting Go With Grace and Finding Joy in Launching Your Arrows

The Paradox of Parenting and Motherhood

Just three days after watching my son Tanner walk across the stage at his high school graduation, my youngest daughter Paige verbally committed to an Acro & Tumbling program at a university over 5 hours away from home. In the span of one weekend, I went from having both my babies still under my roof to realizing they would soon be navigating the world as independent young adults without me.

Any mother will tell you that parenting and raising children is the most rewarding yet arduous job there is. The sleepless nights, the tantrums, the endless cleaning and shuttling to activities – it challenges you until you think you can’t possibly go on. Yet by the grace of God, you find untapped reserves of strength because you’d move mountains for these precious kids you love more ferociously than anything.

As a homeschool mom, that paradox was amplified tenfold. Not only was I responsible for guiding and nurturing my children’s emotional and physical development according to Biblical principles, I was their primary educator too. The days blurred together in a constant cycle of life lessons, academic lessons, preparing meals, cleaning, and cherishing every hard-won moment of learning, growth, and God’s mercy.

A Note to Moms of Littles

For those mamas still in the trenches with little ones underfoot, take note: cherish every single last moment, even the hard ones. Yes, the endless neediness, the fits over eating one more bite, the sibling bickering, the sticky floors, and the sheer exhaustion can be overwhelming some days. But don’t lose sight of what a fleeting, sacred privilege this season is.

There will come a time when you ache for their chubby baby cheeks, tiny toes, bedtime snuggles, and gleeful squeals over the simplest pleasures. The good days and bad ones alike shape the eternal imprint you’re making on their lives. As wearying as it can feel at times, this is the pinnacle of motherhood. Let your gratitude for these imperfect, beautiful days outweigh your moments of fatigue and frustration. Because one day, all too soon, they’ll be all grown up and gone.

The Heartbreaking Transition in Parenting

And that’s what makes this transition of them leaving home so excruciatingly bittersweet. For 18 years, I’ve devoted every ounce of my energy to nurturing them through each stage and milestone, seeking to “Train up a child in the way he should go” as Proverbs 22:6 instructs. I’ve tried to equip them with the tools of faith, values, wisdom, and truth to thrive as strong, capable people of Christian character. That’s the entire goal of Godly motherhood, parenting, and homeschooling, isn’t it? To raise self-sufficient adults grounded in the Lord who are ready to make their own way while remaining rooted in Him.

Yet selfishly, saying goodbye shatters my heart into a million pieces that only God can piece back together. No matter how grown up they become, they’ll always be my babies – the ones I prayed over constantly, rocked to sleep, kissed boo-boos, led by the hand through life’s firsts, and helped conquer academic and spiritual challenges through His strength, not mine. Knowing I’ve done my best with His guidance to prepare them for this independence milestone makes me beam with pride. But there’s an aching void where their daily need used to involve me and now no longer do. And, very soon, their presence will no longer fill our home daily.

To the Mamas Facing an Empty Nest

For those facing an impending empty nest in the coming years, you are not alone in this rocky transition. As joyful as it is to see our children blossoming into independent adults, it’s also an anguishing surrender of the hands-on mothering roles we’ve been devoted to for decades. The home that once overflowed with noise, messes, and a vibrant flurry of activity will be hauntingly still without our kids in it each day.

But take heart – this is not the end, only the start of a new season. Our roles as mamas may be evolving, but our bonds can never be severed. We’ll love, cherish, pray over, and nurture our children’s spirits in new ways, even from a distance. Relish the happy memories from each fleeting stage while allowing the grief to run its natural course too. Our homes and hearts may never quite feel complete without our kids in them, but neither will they ever stop being their first and forever homes.

A New Season

I know this is just the latest season of parenthood, one filled with new ways to trust in the Lord’s plans. Tanner and Paige will always need my prayers, support, love, and Godly guidance in new ways, even if I’m no longer tending to their day-to-day lives. And I get to be their #1 fan as they chase big dreams – Tanner entering the workforce, Paige competing across the country – cheering them on from the sidelines!

My roles are simply shifting, not ending. “For everything, there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1) But for now, I’ll allow my heart to be equally filled with joy and grief as I send my arrows out into the world after dedicating the lion’s share of my life to nurturing them under my wing through the power of Christ. They may not need me in the same ways anymore, but our bond, rooted in Him, can never be severed.

The Ultimate Calling

Motherhood is beautiful yet grueling because the precious people we nurture most belong to our Heavenly Father. It’s the ultimate calling to parent after God’s own heart, yet an emotionally crushing life transition wrapped into one. Homeschooling compressed every stage of that journey into one continuous, intertwined experience, lived out each day while pointing my children’s hearts, minds, and souls toward their Savior. Every diaper changed, homework session aided by prayer, family meal, and bedtime story led to this bittersweetness of life moving forward in His path.

I wouldn’t have it any other way. To love someone so much, to pour your heart and soul into their daily lives under the Lord’s guidance, only for them to eventually grow and pursue their own paths in His will – that’s one of life’s most profound heartbreaks and joys. While Tanner isn’t leaving home just yet, he’s starting to test the waters of new adulthood by entering the workforce after graduating. I beam with pride watching him navigate this transition, yet it’s also bittersweet realizing he’s one foot out the door, slowly gaining his independence.

As Paige prepares to leave for college after her senior year in 2025, I’ll cherish every remaining moment as her mom in our current roles, soaking up the eternal investments made in her life. And I’ll be ready with open arms for whatever comes next in our beautiful, evolving relationship, placing my children squarely in God’s loving hands as He continues to walk with them.